I watched Romeo and Juliet (the 1990's version by Baz Luhrman, which I just love - I really think it's a brilliant re-envisioning of the story) this weekend, so that's in this poem, as is the religious issue my mother is having with the fact that I have a girlfriend. And the collaborative poem I was working on Friday is being written in American Sentences, so I am thinking in terms of 17 syllables at a time.
American Sentences: Two Girls in Love, a Cold Ohio Night
The sky is the color of the slate roof of the house where I grew up.
Snow threatens to return and cover all the tracks we have made so far.
How far we've walked, you and I, fingers numb from cold but still holding hands.
We will outpace the storm, find or create shelter long before limbs fail.
We've both read "To Build a Fire" and we know the temptation to lie down.
Let the snow be our bed and we will never rise, we two Juliets.
This is a modern tragedy: lovers blessed by the stars, crossed by God.
It is up to us to triumph, clear a nest, build a tent, and a fire.
Your cheeks bold pink, your eyes misted from the wind, never more beautiful.
We traverse a wilderness of snow, warm inside, love like a beacon.
Follow love. Do not stop moving forward. The stars will outlast us all.
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3 comments:
Oh wow, this is so great. I love the way you use the American sentences here. You're so good at them!
thank you, nathan! i really like the long lines. i used to write a lot in long lines, but got out of the habit. thinking in terms of set syllables makes me really think each word and get rid of the excess.
great stuff last night, btw. that was fun!
this is so lovely. I like it so much.. truely a perfect poem, so hard to acheive!
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